I could tell by her tone...then she asked me if I was driving, I hesitated and replied, yes. She responded, I will wait until you pull over. The results of my MRI were back. She asked, do you have any questions? I heard myself ask, "Possibility of malignancy"? She replied, yes. She informed me of what would be the next steps. I thanked her in a surprisingly controlled voice, while I attempted to process the news. I glanced down at my hands and noticed they were shaking. This cannot be happening to me! I am asymptomatic; I don’t have a family history of cancer; I’m black; I work out. I cannot have ovarian cancer. I am a nurse; I know what ovarian cancer looks like, so I thought.
How did I get here? Long overdue physical exam, pap smear, and pelvic exam, with my primary care physician? Initially, she didn’t believe my results were alarming. Yes, my uterus was a little larger than normal; and my Pap smear exam indicated some abnormal findings; but this doesn’t translate into a cancer diagnosis. An ultrasound and some additional labs were ordered to rule out anything serious. My labs came back normal, but the ultrasound showed what could be a cyst on my right ovary. The ultrasound brought me a referral for an MRI, which led to another referral, this time for a Gynecologic Oncologist.
I was physically sitting in the room, with whom will eventually become my surgeon, but emotionally, I was still in that parking lot. I was desperately holding on to the word “possibility" of malignancy. The Pap smear and pelvic exam led to additional testing which ultimately led to the discovery of the tumor on my ovary. She informed me that it was an incidental finding. If it hadn't been for the overdue pelvic exam, the tumor would have gone undetected. The GYN Oncologist was informative and direct. I’m a visual learner and she was drawing pictures to help me understand the diagnosis. It was at that moment that I began to look at life differently.
While African American women have lower incidence rates for ovarian cancer, they have the worse survival rates. Without symptoms, currently, there are no reliable prescreening tests available. Early detection of ovarian cancer can be challenging due to vague or no symptoms. The disease can go undetected in its earlier stages, which means, women generally present to their doctor with advanced stage disease. This has led to ovarian cancer being termed the “silent killer”.
Long intensive surgery revealed a very large cancerous mass on my right ovary. I had to wait weeks for the Pathology report, which showed I have stage 1 cancer. Unfortunately, the tumor had high grade cells. Months of chemotherapy treatments, fatigue, hair loss, neuropathy, anxiety . . . . .
I see what ovarian cancer looks like in the mirror. A woman with ovarian cancer can look like any other woman with little to no symptoms.
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