❓Is Rhythm Rush a real festival?
- No. Rhythm Rush is a 100% fake, 1000% unforgettable event powered by delusion, glitter, and basslines that exist only in dreams and extremely committed group chats.
❓Can I buy tickets?
- Absolutely! And by “tickets,” we mean imaginary access bracelets infused with fictional legitimacy.
- Note: All ticket tiers include zero entry, zero refunds, and 100% vibes.
❓Where is the festival located?
- Right between your third eye and your childhood dreams.
- Geographically speaking: nowhere.
- Spiritually: everywhere.
- Technically: no comment.
❓Is there a dress code?
- Yes. Please wear something that screams “I lost control of my life at a 3AM glitter rave inside a bouncy castle shaped like a turnip.”
- Bonus points for glow-in-the-dark footwear, sentient scarves, and emotional support bandanas.
❓What should I bring?
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1 reusable container (for tears or confetti)
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A towel (for the inevitable energy toad sweat)
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A portable fan that doubles as a moral compass
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0 expectations
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1 emergency kazoo (trust us)
❓Can I bring my pet?
Of course! But only if your pet:
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Can DJ
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Understands consent
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Wears protective rave goggles
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Is technically imaginary
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❓What if I get lost?
- If you find yourself lost, simply follow the trail of MoodJuice™ caps, whispered dubstep beats, or the guy yelling “I INVENTED THE DROP” near the Confetti Zone.
- If none of that helps, close your eyes, spin three times, and yell “I AM THE BEAT” into the void. Security might appear. Or you might become a stage. Either way, exciting.
❓Who’s headlining?
Our most notable (possibly fake) headliners include:
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DJ Phantom Step (still hasn’t shown up, still iconic)
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Snarewolf
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DJ Salad Barf
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Moist Nugget
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☠️🌈🧃 (name unpronounceable but spiritually resonant)
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Check the lineup for more artists who legally don’t exist.
❓Will there be food?
Absolutely. You’ll find… something at the Food & Drink Mirage Tent™, including:
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VibeNachos™
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Ambient Tapas
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Toad Tenders (not FDA approved)
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Hydration Loops (don’t ask)
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All ingredients sourced locally from your mom.
❓Is this safe?
Define “safe.”
Rhythm Rush has never had a single reported injury, mostly because it has never technically occurred.
However, side effects may include:
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Spontaneous toe glitter
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Emotional growth
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Becoming a human disco ball
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Crippling joy
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❓Who is behind Rhythm Rush?
A coalition of rogue data analysts, retired EDM mascots, and one some random lady named Natallie with a strange vision and a fever dream of one day owning a fog machine
❓What if it rains?
- Then the vibes will simply get wetter.
- Rhythm Rush will operate during excessive rain storms, blistering sunshine, or the rapture.
- Our Weather Management Team™ (a guy with a leaf blower and a dream) is trained to dance in literally all conditions.
❓Can I volunteer?
Yes! Volunteers are essential to making nothing happen smoothly.
Roles include:
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Imaginary Wristband Scanner
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Sock Recovery Agent
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Confetti Mood Therapist
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Energy Toad Wrangler
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Lost & Profound Tent Assistant
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Apply now. Training lasts forever.
❓Is there a lost and found?
Yes, but it only accepts emotional baggage.
Located next to the Sip 'n’ Cry Tent, the Lost & Found contains:
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47 unmatched socks
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1 functioning rave flute
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12 broken glow sticks full of ambition
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A single text that says “U up?”
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❓Will there be cell service?
- Rhythm Rush runs exclusively on WiFi by Todd™, a man walking around with a hotspot taped to his chest.
- Service may vary depending on Todd’s mood, cardio endurance, and sun exposure.
❓Are there real bathrooms?
We prefer the term “conceptual relief zones.”
Our porta-absurdas are:
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Lined with motivational quotes
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Fragrance-enhanced with MoodJuice™ mist
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Protected by a silent disco curtain of privacy
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❓Can I get a refund?
You want a refund…
…for an event that never happened
…that you never paid for
…with performers who don’t exist
…in a location that isn’t real?
No. Just No.
❓Is this kid-friendly?
Only if your kid is emotionally prepared for:
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Bassline-induced self-discovery
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Accidental enlightenment
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A puppet named DJ Lint screaming “I AM THE DROP” during nap time
Otherwise, maybe get a sitter.
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❓Is there a theme?
- Yes: Chaos meets cardio meets cosmic delusion. Dress accordingly.
❓How long does the festival last?
Time is a construct.
But officially:
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Festival starts when you say it does
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Festival ends when the final energy toad ascends
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❓Can I bring outside food or drink?
- Only if it’s shaped like a triangle and blessed by a golden dragon.
❓Can I sleep at the festival?
Yes—our Dream Camping Zone™ offers:
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Pillow fights with ghosts of past raves
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Zero tents
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Complimentary existential dread hammocks
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A chance to share a sleeping bag with your future self
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